I have officially been in India for 4 weeks, and have 2 days shy of 4 weeks left to go.
So far this experience has been a combination of eye-opening, exciting, annoying, boring and fun. The time alternately flies by and goes at a crawl. Pretty much like normal life, then.
I'm inspired by Gori Rajkumari's post on things she realizes she took for granted before moving to India two years ago. So I now give to you, The Things I Miss the Most:
1. Being independent: At home, I did not have a car. But my city is beautifully pedestrian friendly. I could leave the house whenever I wanted and go wherever I wanted. I did not realize what a privilege that is! Here, I can't do anything outside of the house without getting approval from my family and then convincing someone to give me a ride. I can't go out by myself, I can't take a rickshaw by myself, I'm essentially under house arrest. This would probably not be so annoying if I were regularly given rides places, but I have to harass everyone for days before finally someone will agree to take me somewhere. In the meantime, I'm trapped in the house. There are only 4 TV stations in English. The internet is unreliable at best. Extended conversations with my mother-in-law prove injurious to our relationship. I'd be grateful just to be able to take a walk outside on my own.
2. Hot water: The water here is heated by solar panels. It is monsoon season, therefore no sun. It is all I can do to not scream as I step under the water each morning. I can't remember the last time I shaved my legs.
3. Food: At home, I'm mostly in charge of the kitchen. I buy the groceries, I figure out what to cook each night. It's a chore I largely hated. But oh how I miss it now. My mother-in-law rarely relinquishes control of the kitchen. On the rare occasion she does (twice now since my arrival), only non-Indian dishes can be prepared. It must still be vegetarian, though, as she doesn't eat meat and doesn't allow it in her kitchen. I rarely cook meat at home, but then again I also make mostly Indian dishes at home. Vegetarian meals in other cuisines are difficult to come up with (or at the very least, they'd taste worlds better with meat). And being in a foreign country where there's no guarantee you'll be able to find the groceries you want makes it even more difficult.
Now, I'm going to let you in on a little secret. My mother-in-law is not a good cook. I love Indian food in the biggest way, but when she cooks it I have to just stuff it down. I thought perhaps it was just me, but hubby's best friend has revealed that she has always hated my mother-in-law's cooking. Every time we've gone for dinner at someone else's house it has been a huge relief. Finally, Indian food to be enjoyed! I would love to step in and cook some dishes myself, but of course, Indian food is her domain and no one else can touch it.
Food is forced upon me and if I try to refuse I'm questioned and made to feel like I'm being insulting. But it's perfectly ok for everyone else in the family to refuse the same item, even the person who just forced it on me. And if there are leftovers because people don't want to eat it, I am made to eat it day after day until it is all gone. I just ate idli and sambar for the third time in three days. The ninth time since my arrival. I didn't even really like it to begin with!
Every day there is a speech about how eating homecooked food is the only thing allowed. Eating "outside" as she calls it is frowned upon. To the point that if you even think you might be gone over lunch, she will pack your lunch for you to take with you. And if you have eaten something outside the house, which I have managed to do a few times with my brother-in-law, when you get home you are promptly served whatever it is she wants you to eat. And you're served twice as much as you would have been if you hadn't already eaten. And she stands over you until you clean your plate. What I wouldn't give for a bowl of cereal at breakfast once in a while.
4. Drinking water I don't have to boil first: That one is pretty self-explanatory.
5. Understanding what people are saying even 50% of the time: My mother-in-law seems to think that the best way to teach me to speak whichever of the three languages she has seized on at the moment, is to say something completely incomprehensible and then stare at me while wiggling her eyebrows. I don't know if she is waiting for me to repeat what she's said or she's waiting for me to respond. Repeating it only makes her say it again and wiggle her eyebrows some more. And a response is impossible as I don't have the first clue what she has said, I don't even know if it's a question or a statement. And my in-laws constantly contradict each other on the correct words for things or the way to say something. So essentially all I'm learning is that I can't learn a language from my family. This does not stop the painfully long monologues (sometimes dialogues if someone else is around) after which I'm asked if I understood. Of course I didn't! You were speaking three different languages at once and you mumble so much it sounds like one continuous word! For thirty minutes! My in-laws insist on going with me whenever I get the chance to meet or speak with someone I'm interested in working with while I'm here. They also insist on guiding the conversation out of English as much as possible.
I really do want to learn so that I can communicate here, but it is sooo incredibly difficult. There are many words that mean very different things, but the only difference between the pronunciation of the words is a sound I cannot for the life of me make. Every word has at least one sound my mouth cannot seem to form.
6. Sunshine and heat: It doesn't rain all of the time, the way movies would have you believe. But it rains quite a bit. And when it isn't raining, it's usually overcast. Sometimes the sky clears and there is actual direct sunshine...but it somehow isn't the same. When I sit outside to try and soak up the sun, it feels completely different on my skin than it does back home. I can't explain it, but it makes me sad. I love warm sunshine. And I love ridiculously hot summers. Yet the hottest it gets here right now is generally the lowest the temperature is getting at home. I want to be home and stand outside in the sweltering heat and feel the sunshine on my face melting my makeup and making my clothes wilt.
But it's not all sadness and gloom. There are many things that I will miss about India when I get back home:
1. Being noticed: At home, I blend in with the crowd. I'm just like every other girl. Here, I am unlike anything most of these people have seen before. I attract attention. I get noticed. Even on a crowded street filled with beautiful women, everyone turns to look at me. And not because my hair has absorbed every drop of moisture in the air and is now big enough to house a small aviary as would generally be the case at home. But because I am fascinating.
2. Being able to cross the street wherever I damn well please instead of only at the corners.
3. Incredible Indian food: Not that I'm getting a whole lot of that here. But I know I could if I can just throw off the leash my mother-in-law has me on. At home, we don't even bother to eat at Indian restaurants because they're all just so ridiculously bad.
Crap, I'm all out. Well there are still 4 more weeks to go, so I'm sure I will find many more things that I will miss about being here. I can already see that I would probably love living here for a while as long as I did not have to live with (or near) my in-laws. This country is getting under my skin, in both good and bad ways, and I'm sure it will only dig its way deeper by the time I leave.
So far this experience has been a combination of eye-opening, exciting, annoying, boring and fun. The time alternately flies by and goes at a crawl. Pretty much like normal life, then.
I'm inspired by Gori Rajkumari's post on things she realizes she took for granted before moving to India two years ago. So I now give to you, The Things I Miss the Most:
1. Being independent: At home, I did not have a car. But my city is beautifully pedestrian friendly. I could leave the house whenever I wanted and go wherever I wanted. I did not realize what a privilege that is! Here, I can't do anything outside of the house without getting approval from my family and then convincing someone to give me a ride. I can't go out by myself, I can't take a rickshaw by myself, I'm essentially under house arrest. This would probably not be so annoying if I were regularly given rides places, but I have to harass everyone for days before finally someone will agree to take me somewhere. In the meantime, I'm trapped in the house. There are only 4 TV stations in English. The internet is unreliable at best. Extended conversations with my mother-in-law prove injurious to our relationship. I'd be grateful just to be able to take a walk outside on my own.
2. Hot water: The water here is heated by solar panels. It is monsoon season, therefore no sun. It is all I can do to not scream as I step under the water each morning. I can't remember the last time I shaved my legs.
3. Food: At home, I'm mostly in charge of the kitchen. I buy the groceries, I figure out what to cook each night. It's a chore I largely hated. But oh how I miss it now. My mother-in-law rarely relinquishes control of the kitchen. On the rare occasion she does (twice now since my arrival), only non-Indian dishes can be prepared. It must still be vegetarian, though, as she doesn't eat meat and doesn't allow it in her kitchen. I rarely cook meat at home, but then again I also make mostly Indian dishes at home. Vegetarian meals in other cuisines are difficult to come up with (or at the very least, they'd taste worlds better with meat). And being in a foreign country where there's no guarantee you'll be able to find the groceries you want makes it even more difficult.
Now, I'm going to let you in on a little secret. My mother-in-law is not a good cook. I love Indian food in the biggest way, but when she cooks it I have to just stuff it down. I thought perhaps it was just me, but hubby's best friend has revealed that she has always hated my mother-in-law's cooking. Every time we've gone for dinner at someone else's house it has been a huge relief. Finally, Indian food to be enjoyed! I would love to step in and cook some dishes myself, but of course, Indian food is her domain and no one else can touch it.
Food is forced upon me and if I try to refuse I'm questioned and made to feel like I'm being insulting. But it's perfectly ok for everyone else in the family to refuse the same item, even the person who just forced it on me. And if there are leftovers because people don't want to eat it, I am made to eat it day after day until it is all gone. I just ate idli and sambar for the third time in three days. The ninth time since my arrival. I didn't even really like it to begin with!
Every day there is a speech about how eating homecooked food is the only thing allowed. Eating "outside" as she calls it is frowned upon. To the point that if you even think you might be gone over lunch, she will pack your lunch for you to take with you. And if you have eaten something outside the house, which I have managed to do a few times with my brother-in-law, when you get home you are promptly served whatever it is she wants you to eat. And you're served twice as much as you would have been if you hadn't already eaten. And she stands over you until you clean your plate. What I wouldn't give for a bowl of cereal at breakfast once in a while.
4. Drinking water I don't have to boil first: That one is pretty self-explanatory.
5. Understanding what people are saying even 50% of the time: My mother-in-law seems to think that the best way to teach me to speak whichever of the three languages she has seized on at the moment, is to say something completely incomprehensible and then stare at me while wiggling her eyebrows. I don't know if she is waiting for me to repeat what she's said or she's waiting for me to respond. Repeating it only makes her say it again and wiggle her eyebrows some more. And a response is impossible as I don't have the first clue what she has said, I don't even know if it's a question or a statement. And my in-laws constantly contradict each other on the correct words for things or the way to say something. So essentially all I'm learning is that I can't learn a language from my family. This does not stop the painfully long monologues (sometimes dialogues if someone else is around) after which I'm asked if I understood. Of course I didn't! You were speaking three different languages at once and you mumble so much it sounds like one continuous word! For thirty minutes! My in-laws insist on going with me whenever I get the chance to meet or speak with someone I'm interested in working with while I'm here. They also insist on guiding the conversation out of English as much as possible.
I really do want to learn so that I can communicate here, but it is sooo incredibly difficult. There are many words that mean very different things, but the only difference between the pronunciation of the words is a sound I cannot for the life of me make. Every word has at least one sound my mouth cannot seem to form.
6. Sunshine and heat: It doesn't rain all of the time, the way movies would have you believe. But it rains quite a bit. And when it isn't raining, it's usually overcast. Sometimes the sky clears and there is actual direct sunshine...but it somehow isn't the same. When I sit outside to try and soak up the sun, it feels completely different on my skin than it does back home. I can't explain it, but it makes me sad. I love warm sunshine. And I love ridiculously hot summers. Yet the hottest it gets here right now is generally the lowest the temperature is getting at home. I want to be home and stand outside in the sweltering heat and feel the sunshine on my face melting my makeup and making my clothes wilt.
But it's not all sadness and gloom. There are many things that I will miss about India when I get back home:
1. Being noticed: At home, I blend in with the crowd. I'm just like every other girl. Here, I am unlike anything most of these people have seen before. I attract attention. I get noticed. Even on a crowded street filled with beautiful women, everyone turns to look at me. And not because my hair has absorbed every drop of moisture in the air and is now big enough to house a small aviary as would generally be the case at home. But because I am fascinating.
2. Being able to cross the street wherever I damn well please instead of only at the corners.
3. Incredible Indian food: Not that I'm getting a whole lot of that here. But I know I could if I can just throw off the leash my mother-in-law has me on. At home, we don't even bother to eat at Indian restaurants because they're all just so ridiculously bad.
Crap, I'm all out. Well there are still 4 more weeks to go, so I'm sure I will find many more things that I will miss about being here. I can already see that I would probably love living here for a while as long as I did not have to live with (or near) my in-laws. This country is getting under my skin, in both good and bad ways, and I'm sure it will only dig its way deeper by the time I leave.
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