There's one thing I learned on my first visit to India and I just had a refresher course:
People will come by your house on a moments notice. Or sometimes without notice at all, they'll just show up.
And everyone (and I mean every single person you encounter) will invite you to come to their house, wherever it may be. There were 700 people at our Indian wedding and I promise you about 90% of them invited us to their house for dinner. They will never follow up with you and make a plan as to when. They will just say "you must come to our house" and then you will never see or hear from these people again.
I've been here 5 days and already I've been invited to Khambhat, Manipal, and Jaipur. While all would be fun adventures, none are likely to happen.
Even though Khambhat is Mama's hometown (homevillage?) and one of her sisters still lives there, it would require God only knows what methods of transportation and how long a journey. And it would require planning. Not this family's strong suit. At all. Not even close. I'm not even sure they know what it means.
Manipal is where two of hubby's cousins are at university. Except one is already done and back in Mumbai. And the other is taking exams and immediately heading back to the U.S. to take her oath as a new U.S. citizen (which I'm missing and completely bummed about). So I would travel to Manipal...why? Just for kicks? I'm not against that, I'm just checking.
Tonight's dinner guests are from Jaipur. I use the term "guests" lightly, as they only called to invite themselves one hour before showing up at the house. My father-in-law's school friend's brother-in-law and his family. You follow that? I only know one of my dad's childhood friends and none of my mom's. I sure as hell don't know their in-laws and have them over for dinner. This is how 700 people ended up at our wedding. But I digress.
So here in Pune, you apparently have to be prepared at any given time for guests to show up unexpectedly. The door is always open to visitors. Literally. It's like a contest to see who can keep the screen door open the longest and/or let in the most bugs. If you get above 100 mosquitoes or get a lizard, you win the prize.
People will come by your house on a moments notice. Or sometimes without notice at all, they'll just show up.
And everyone (and I mean every single person you encounter) will invite you to come to their house, wherever it may be. There were 700 people at our Indian wedding and I promise you about 90% of them invited us to their house for dinner. They will never follow up with you and make a plan as to when. They will just say "you must come to our house" and then you will never see or hear from these people again.
I've been here 5 days and already I've been invited to Khambhat, Manipal, and Jaipur. While all would be fun adventures, none are likely to happen.
Even though Khambhat is Mama's hometown (homevillage?) and one of her sisters still lives there, it would require God only knows what methods of transportation and how long a journey. And it would require planning. Not this family's strong suit. At all. Not even close. I'm not even sure they know what it means.
Manipal is where two of hubby's cousins are at university. Except one is already done and back in Mumbai. And the other is taking exams and immediately heading back to the U.S. to take her oath as a new U.S. citizen (which I'm missing and completely bummed about). So I would travel to Manipal...why? Just for kicks? I'm not against that, I'm just checking.
Tonight's dinner guests are from Jaipur. I use the term "guests" lightly, as they only called to invite themselves one hour before showing up at the house. My father-in-law's school friend's brother-in-law and his family. You follow that? I only know one of my dad's childhood friends and none of my mom's. I sure as hell don't know their in-laws and have them over for dinner. This is how 700 people ended up at our wedding. But I digress.
So here in Pune, you apparently have to be prepared at any given time for guests to show up unexpectedly. The door is always open to visitors. Literally. It's like a contest to see who can keep the screen door open the longest and/or let in the most bugs. If you get above 100 mosquitoes or get a lizard, you win the prize.
Well clearly that's why they all spend that much time cleaning their house, duh.
ReplyDeleteBut seriously...
So when you say that 90% of your wedding guests invited you over for dinner but it won't happen...is that because they feel plans are unnecessary, or because it was just a nicety? Like, if you were to actually follow through and just show up at their house one day, would they think you were bonkers the way you would here in America? I tell people all the time "Oh man, we should totally hang out" when I know I'm never going to call them to get together. I wonder if all of your wedding guests think you're rude because you never came by...
Well if I did follow through and just show up at their house one day, they would be totally ok with that just like my in-laws were with our impromptu guests that night. But it is just a nicety. I made sure of that once we'd agreed to have dinner in more places than we had days left in India. Hubby assured me we were not in fact expected at any of those places.
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