I know, I know. Woe is me. Sunburned in the first week of January by the reflection of the sun off the 80something degree crystal clear waters of the Indian Ocean.
Or, apparently, the Laccadive Sea, according to a map. Your geography lesson for the day. You're welcome.
Anyway, all I can say about that is if you're going to get fried in the sun, try not to do it the day before a wedding. Doesn't photograph well.
Ok, Sri Lanka.
Fun fact about the day we left DC. I was doing laundry (because I don't own enough clothes for such a long trip, so leaving any in the laundry basket seemed foolish) when I dropped the cup of liquid detergent on the floor. And it sprayed up more than 5 feet in the air to get me right in the eye. Oh, the pain. I managed to get the soap out (after a full hour of rinsing my eye), but I was forced to wear my glasses for the flight. The glasses that are two prescriptions out of date. The glasses that I stepped on three years ago and never bothered to get straightened out because I never wear them. Yeah those glasses. Fun times.
Oh and about those clothes that I don't own enough of. I took everything I have, and still I had to do laundry on the trip. Twice. And one of those times was by hand in the shower. Or rather, in the bathroom floor. Because they're the same thing.
It's amazing the little things I take for granted. The opportunity to shave. A washcloth. Water pressure. A shower head. Hot water.
Anyway, Sri Lanka.
As we prepared to board the plane to Dubai (our second layover, the first being JFK), my husband suddenly gasped as he looked out the window. All around me, men looked like kids in a candy store. The women all looked confused or simply amused by their husband's reaction. We were flying the Airbus A380. A giant double-decker airplane. There were two gates, one leading to the bottom level (the commoners) and another leading directly to the upper level (so the rich don't have to mingle with us). That's all I know about it, but apparently men love it. For the rest of the trip, every guy we met had to be told about the plane, and every one of them was impressed. Go figure.
So, after more than 30 hours of traveling (and spending the turn of the year in the Dubai airport...at least we could see the fireworks over the city), we arrived bright and early at the in-law's hotel (they'd arrived the night before) and started out on our first day.
A little piece of advice from me to you: if you love your spouse, and value your relationship with them, never ever go on vacation with your in-laws. Big extended family events may be ok. But intimate one-on-one time? Uh uh. You don't need to really get to know your in-laws. You may not like what you learn.
On the plus side, reminding yourself 47 times a day how much you love your spouse can do wonders for your marriage.
Where was I? Oh yes, day one, heading straight into the sightseeing as soon as we touched ground.
Sri Lanka is like India's nicer prettier cousin. You know, the one who's voted homecoming queen while you have braces and acne.
The shops and fruit stands along the roads look just like Pune. Except the roads are well-paved. And drivers (mostly) stay in their lanes. People are genuinely polite. And there's grass. And trees, lots and lots of trees. Sri Lanka works to preserve their green space, rather than just building up and out until there is no unspoiled land anywhere. It's the best of both worlds.
Our first stop was Anuradhapura, one of the eight UNESCO World Heritage sights in Sri Lanka. It's famous for its well-preserved ruins, but frankly it seemed to just be a lot of Buddhist temples. Which were, perhaps, ruins. But sure didn't look like it.
Nothing against Buddhists, but if I never see a Buddha statue again I think that'd be alright. Unless someone wants to create one that isn't 100% identical to every single other statue. Just sayin.
Next stop: Dambulla, another World Heritage sight. We were to have two stops there: the Golden Temple and Sigiriya, an ancient rock fortress and palace with an amazing view. Unfortunately, the price for foreigners (i.e. white people) to get into Sigiriya is really really steep. So we had to skip Sigiriya. The Golden Temple, with its cave temples, was quite impressive though.
No photos were allowed inside the caves, though I seemed to be the only one following that rule. What can I say, I respect the rules. Also, the light from camera flashes can degrade the statues and frescoes. So basically all those tourists were destroying the very things they were so interested in seeing. Ok, stepping off my soapbox now.
Each cave was filled with probably no fewer than a dozen Buddha statues. All more or less the same. Some were laying down, others sitting up. But every lying Buddha was the same, and every sitting Buddha was the same. Sometimes made of different materials, sometimes flashing a different gang sign (or whatever it is going on with his hands...I'm assuming not actual gang signs but it makes for a better story). But all essentially the same. The walls and ceilings were decorated with the same designs repeating over and over. Mostly pictures of Buddha just like the statues before us.
To be honest, we got bored after the first five or six caves and left. Still pretty impressive to see, though. At least the first cave or so.
Next it was on to Kandy, home of the Temple of the Sacred Tooth Relic. Which is home to the Buddha's left canine tooth, saved from his funeral pyre.
You cannot make that stuff up.
I didn't see this tooth (and frankly didn't want to, it's creepy), but the temple itself was a sight to behold. Different than any temple I have ever seen, and with free entertainment to boot.
As we waited for our driver outside our hotel the next morning, getting more and more anxious at how late he was, we learned that our watches were actually 30 minutes ahead. The flight attendant had announced the time when we landed in Colombo. But that announced time was 30 minutes later than the actual time, for reasons unknown.
This was a comedic anecdote for about a second, until I realized the ramifications. You see, there is a running joke about Indian Standard Time. While that is actually the name of the time zone, it also refers to the fact that Indians are perpetually late. They have their own concept of time.
When hubby and I were dating in college, I learned that whatever time he was supposed to pick me up was the time that I would start getting ready. That kept me from sitting around waiting for him, all dressed up with nowhere to go. I've learned to adjust to this, although it can still be very frustrating, especially for someone who hates to be late.
What better way to ensure we're on time for everything than to have my in-laws' watches set 30 minutes fast? But alas, they learned of the error and we were never on time again for the rest of the trip.
Once our driver finally arrived (on time, according to real time), we set out on the most incredible day of our trip. Possibly the most incredible day ever. The Pinnawala Elephant Orphanage.
I have a thing for elephants. I'm not exactly sure how it started or why. I know my grandmother had a pretty extensive collection of elephant paraphernalia and several pieces of it came to me after she died. After that I started acquiring elephants left and right. I have more elephant figurines than I have space to put them. I have elephant picture frames, stuffed elephants...you name it, I've probably got it.
I know the collection started with my grandmother. But my actual love of them...well that's harder to pinpoint. All I can say is they are amazing creatures. They are so intelligent and beautiful. Incredibly peaceful, yet incredibly fierce. Like the ocean (for which I also have a deep love), an elephant can be gorgeous and calm but it can also turn on you in a second. They're unpredictable (which I realize is not usually an attribute I appreciate).
The orphanage takes in, well, orphaned elephants. Many of them grow up in the orphanage, then have their own babies there. One elephant that will really melt your heart is Sama, a female elephant who lost a foot to a landmine when she was little, which is why she came to live at the orphanage. At one point she passed very close to us, but her hobbling caused the other elephants to move closer to us and we were shoved out of the way by a handler...thus, no photo.
There are, however, plenty photos of other elephants :-) Absolutely adorable elephants.
We arrived at the orphanage as feeding time was wrapping up. So we figured why pay to get in (and not get to feed them) when we can wait five minutes and watch them walk through the village on their way to the river for bath time. After all, watching something walk down the street should be free, right?
Not so much.
There were people waiting to collect "tickets" to let you on the road leading to the river. We figured screw that, we'll just find another way to the river.
Yeah...
We found our way to the river, all right. About a mile upstream from the elephants. With no way to get closer on that side of the river. And so we started rock hopping. Then we got to the middle of the river and had nowhere to go. So we took off our shoes and waded right in, at least where we could see the bottom. Eventually one of the elephants' handlers started yelling and gesturing for us to get away, so we figured that was as close as we were going to get. Luckily, my camera has a 12x zoom.
After a while of baking in the sun, we decided to go back across the river. Except we didn't go back the way we came. And then we got stuck. And some nice guy trying to sell elephant rides had to come help us. And we got him stuck too. So then the other nice guy selling elephant rides had to come rescue us all. Good stuff.
When we finally got back around to the main area, people were still trying to collect tickets. So we lied and said we were just going to the row of shops on the way to the river. And they believed us. Why didn't we try that in the beginning!?
Anyway, we pulled a fast one and walked right on down to the river. Right next to the elephants. I even got to bathe one. And touch it. There's video of me screaming "I'm touching an elephant!!!"
So that day was the highlight of my...well, life.
Oh, sorry, honey. I know you thought the day I married you was the highlight of my life. And it totally was. Really. Promise.
So.......
We left the elephant orphanage and drove straight to the beach.
Oh. My. God.
Best. Beach. Ever.
Beautiful beach, water so clear you can see your feet, waves that can kick your ass into next week...heaven.
Hubby loved playing in the waves too. My father-in-law seemed to love it, but he wasn't so good at it so he exhausted himself quickly. My mother-in-law was straight up scared of it. We finally convinced her to come into the water, and then she had her ass handed to her on a silver platter. Oopsie.
But once we stopped the bleeding and iced everything down you could hardly tell she'd face-planted into the bottom of the ocean. It's all good. I think she forgave us, too. Maybe.
After nearly two days of sun and sand and more sun and saltwater and more sun and then a little more sun, we set out for Colombo.
I had no idea what to expect from a Sinhalese wedding. Due to Sri Lanka's proximity to India, I had thought maybe the weddings are similar. And so my first question for the happy couple when we decided to attend was "So is this a one day event or what?" They seemed a little confused, but humored me. One day it is. Thank god.
Even then, on the morning of the wedding we didn't know what was going on. The groom (who is Dominican) was all in a tizzy because everything was running late. Hey, so it's kinda like Indian weddings after all!
I asked what he understood about the ceremony. Nothing. So again, kinda like Indian weddings. I mean, why should people explain what's happening when you have no choice but to go along with it anyway? Waste of time I tell you!
So I really don't know what went on. There were a lot of leaves. Everyone handed the happy couple leaves. And then they in turn gave the leaves to people. Pretty much the same people who'd given them to the couple to start with.
A friend of ours kept joking that it would be really funny if they did this with cannabis. After the third or fourth time he said this, my husband leaned over and asked me what cannabis is. And I died a little inside. I mean, he did go to college, right?
The ceremony itself was pretty short. Thirty minutes tops. And there were professional dancers and stuff. Waaay cooler than any Indian wedding I've seen. I didn't get no live performers. Dammit.
Here's a few photos. In a genius move, hubby and I both forgot cameras until we were already in the ceremony. So I had to steal these from the groom's Facebook page.
And since this is a public blog and these are very private photos, I blacked out all the faces. Which is a shame because the bride is GORGEOUS! And it makes the photos look really weird. But like I said, public blog, private photos, and I don't have permission to circulate their likeness on the internet.
BUT you do get to see the clothes which are completely worth it. At my next wedding I'm going to dress like a Sinhalese bride. It's funny because it could happen.
The wedding took pretty much all day, what with all the eating and dancing and such, and we were up early early the next morning for our flight to India. Which only reconfirmed my feelings that Sri Lanka is prettier and nicer. In every way.
This is a place I would revisit. Well, the elephant orphanage and the beach, anyway. And maybe catch a wedding or two.
Or, apparently, the Laccadive Sea, according to a map. Your geography lesson for the day. You're welcome.
Anyway, all I can say about that is if you're going to get fried in the sun, try not to do it the day before a wedding. Doesn't photograph well.
Ok, Sri Lanka.
Fun fact about the day we left DC. I was doing laundry (because I don't own enough clothes for such a long trip, so leaving any in the laundry basket seemed foolish) when I dropped the cup of liquid detergent on the floor. And it sprayed up more than 5 feet in the air to get me right in the eye. Oh, the pain. I managed to get the soap out (after a full hour of rinsing my eye), but I was forced to wear my glasses for the flight. The glasses that are two prescriptions out of date. The glasses that I stepped on three years ago and never bothered to get straightened out because I never wear them. Yeah those glasses. Fun times.
Oh and about those clothes that I don't own enough of. I took everything I have, and still I had to do laundry on the trip. Twice. And one of those times was by hand in the shower. Or rather, in the bathroom floor. Because they're the same thing.
It's amazing the little things I take for granted. The opportunity to shave. A washcloth. Water pressure. A shower head. Hot water.
Anyway, Sri Lanka.
As we prepared to board the plane to Dubai (our second layover, the first being JFK), my husband suddenly gasped as he looked out the window. All around me, men looked like kids in a candy store. The women all looked confused or simply amused by their husband's reaction. We were flying the Airbus A380. A giant double-decker airplane. There were two gates, one leading to the bottom level (the commoners) and another leading directly to the upper level (so the rich don't have to mingle with us). That's all I know about it, but apparently men love it. For the rest of the trip, every guy we met had to be told about the plane, and every one of them was impressed. Go figure.
So, after more than 30 hours of traveling (and spending the turn of the year in the Dubai airport...at least we could see the fireworks over the city), we arrived bright and early at the in-law's hotel (they'd arrived the night before) and started out on our first day.
A little piece of advice from me to you: if you love your spouse, and value your relationship with them, never ever go on vacation with your in-laws. Big extended family events may be ok. But intimate one-on-one time? Uh uh. You don't need to really get to know your in-laws. You may not like what you learn.
On the plus side, reminding yourself 47 times a day how much you love your spouse can do wonders for your marriage.
Where was I? Oh yes, day one, heading straight into the sightseeing as soon as we touched ground.
Sri Lanka is like India's nicer prettier cousin. You know, the one who's voted homecoming queen while you have braces and acne.
The shops and fruit stands along the roads look just like Pune. Except the roads are well-paved. And drivers (mostly) stay in their lanes. People are genuinely polite. And there's grass. And trees, lots and lots of trees. Sri Lanka works to preserve their green space, rather than just building up and out until there is no unspoiled land anywhere. It's the best of both worlds.
Our first stop was Anuradhapura, one of the eight UNESCO World Heritage sights in Sri Lanka. It's famous for its well-preserved ruins, but frankly it seemed to just be a lot of Buddhist temples. Which were, perhaps, ruins. But sure didn't look like it.
Nothing against Buddhists, but if I never see a Buddha statue again I think that'd be alright. Unless someone wants to create one that isn't 100% identical to every single other statue. Just sayin.
Next stop: Dambulla, another World Heritage sight. We were to have two stops there: the Golden Temple and Sigiriya, an ancient rock fortress and palace with an amazing view. Unfortunately, the price for foreigners (i.e. white people) to get into Sigiriya is really really steep. So we had to skip Sigiriya. The Golden Temple, with its cave temples, was quite impressive though.
 |
| Just because it's cute |
Each cave was filled with probably no fewer than a dozen Buddha statues. All more or less the same. Some were laying down, others sitting up. But every lying Buddha was the same, and every sitting Buddha was the same. Sometimes made of different materials, sometimes flashing a different gang sign (or whatever it is going on with his hands...I'm assuming not actual gang signs but it makes for a better story). But all essentially the same. The walls and ceilings were decorated with the same designs repeating over and over. Mostly pictures of Buddha just like the statues before us.
To be honest, we got bored after the first five or six caves and left. Still pretty impressive to see, though. At least the first cave or so.
Next it was on to Kandy, home of the Temple of the Sacred Tooth Relic. Which is home to the Buddha's left canine tooth, saved from his funeral pyre.
You cannot make that stuff up.
I didn't see this tooth (and frankly didn't want to, it's creepy), but the temple itself was a sight to behold. Different than any temple I have ever seen, and with free entertainment to boot.
 |
| All drummers should dress like this. |
 |
| Judging by the crowd shoving me around and the long line to actually get in the door, I'm thinking the tooth is in this room. |
This was a comedic anecdote for about a second, until I realized the ramifications. You see, there is a running joke about Indian Standard Time. While that is actually the name of the time zone, it also refers to the fact that Indians are perpetually late. They have their own concept of time.
When hubby and I were dating in college, I learned that whatever time he was supposed to pick me up was the time that I would start getting ready. That kept me from sitting around waiting for him, all dressed up with nowhere to go. I've learned to adjust to this, although it can still be very frustrating, especially for someone who hates to be late.
What better way to ensure we're on time for everything than to have my in-laws' watches set 30 minutes fast? But alas, they learned of the error and we were never on time again for the rest of the trip.
Once our driver finally arrived (on time, according to real time), we set out on the most incredible day of our trip. Possibly the most incredible day ever. The Pinnawala Elephant Orphanage.
I have a thing for elephants. I'm not exactly sure how it started or why. I know my grandmother had a pretty extensive collection of elephant paraphernalia and several pieces of it came to me after she died. After that I started acquiring elephants left and right. I have more elephant figurines than I have space to put them. I have elephant picture frames, stuffed elephants...you name it, I've probably got it.
I know the collection started with my grandmother. But my actual love of them...well that's harder to pinpoint. All I can say is they are amazing creatures. They are so intelligent and beautiful. Incredibly peaceful, yet incredibly fierce. Like the ocean (for which I also have a deep love), an elephant can be gorgeous and calm but it can also turn on you in a second. They're unpredictable (which I realize is not usually an attribute I appreciate).
The orphanage takes in, well, orphaned elephants. Many of them grow up in the orphanage, then have their own babies there. One elephant that will really melt your heart is Sama, a female elephant who lost a foot to a landmine when she was little, which is why she came to live at the orphanage. At one point she passed very close to us, but her hobbling caused the other elephants to move closer to us and we were shoved out of the way by a handler...thus, no photo.
There are, however, plenty photos of other elephants :-) Absolutely adorable elephants.
 |
| Wow she has not aged well... |
 |
| About 4 seconds before we nearly got trampled |
Not so much.
There were people waiting to collect "tickets" to let you on the road leading to the river. We figured screw that, we'll just find another way to the river.
Yeah...
We found our way to the river, all right. About a mile upstream from the elephants. With no way to get closer on that side of the river. And so we started rock hopping. Then we got to the middle of the river and had nowhere to go. So we took off our shoes and waded right in, at least where we could see the bottom. Eventually one of the elephants' handlers started yelling and gesturing for us to get away, so we figured that was as close as we were going to get. Luckily, my camera has a 12x zoom.
After a while of baking in the sun, we decided to go back across the river. Except we didn't go back the way we came. And then we got stuck. And some nice guy trying to sell elephant rides had to come help us. And we got him stuck too. So then the other nice guy selling elephant rides had to come rescue us all. Good stuff.
When we finally got back around to the main area, people were still trying to collect tickets. So we lied and said we were just going to the row of shops on the way to the river. And they believed us. Why didn't we try that in the beginning!?
Anyway, we pulled a fast one and walked right on down to the river. Right next to the elephants. I even got to bathe one. And touch it. There's video of me screaming "I'm touching an elephant!!!"
 |
| Baby voice: "Look at that little wittle elyphant! Oh you're so cute! I'm going to eat you up! Oh yes I am! Oh yes I...what's that? Your mom doesn't like that? Now she's going to eat me? Bye little guy! I have to run now! Very fast. Oh yes I do! Oh yes I...shit. Run!" |
 |
| And here I am splashing water on an elephant. That I also touched, but there's no photo. There sure is video though. Oh and please ignore the yoga pants hiked up to my hoohah. K thanks. |
Oh, sorry, honey. I know you thought the day I married you was the highlight of my life. And it totally was. Really. Promise.
So.......
We left the elephant orphanage and drove straight to the beach.
Oh. My. God.
Best. Beach. Ever.
Beautiful beach, water so clear you can see your feet, waves that can kick your ass into next week...heaven.
Hubby loved playing in the waves too. My father-in-law seemed to love it, but he wasn't so good at it so he exhausted himself quickly. My mother-in-law was straight up scared of it. We finally convinced her to come into the water, and then she had her ass handed to her on a silver platter. Oopsie.
But once we stopped the bleeding and iced everything down you could hardly tell she'd face-planted into the bottom of the ocean. It's all good. I think she forgave us, too. Maybe.
After nearly two days of sun and sand and more sun and saltwater and more sun and then a little more sun, we set out for Colombo.
I had no idea what to expect from a Sinhalese wedding. Due to Sri Lanka's proximity to India, I had thought maybe the weddings are similar. And so my first question for the happy couple when we decided to attend was "So is this a one day event or what?" They seemed a little confused, but humored me. One day it is. Thank god.
Even then, on the morning of the wedding we didn't know what was going on. The groom (who is Dominican) was all in a tizzy because everything was running late. Hey, so it's kinda like Indian weddings after all!
I asked what he understood about the ceremony. Nothing. So again, kinda like Indian weddings. I mean, why should people explain what's happening when you have no choice but to go along with it anyway? Waste of time I tell you!
So I really don't know what went on. There were a lot of leaves. Everyone handed the happy couple leaves. And then they in turn gave the leaves to people. Pretty much the same people who'd given them to the couple to start with.
A friend of ours kept joking that it would be really funny if they did this with cannabis. After the third or fourth time he said this, my husband leaned over and asked me what cannabis is. And I died a little inside. I mean, he did go to college, right?
The ceremony itself was pretty short. Thirty minutes tops. And there were professional dancers and stuff. Waaay cooler than any Indian wedding I've seen. I didn't get no live performers. Dammit.
Here's a few photos. In a genius move, hubby and I both forgot cameras until we were already in the ceremony. So I had to steal these from the groom's Facebook page.
And since this is a public blog and these are very private photos, I blacked out all the faces. Which is a shame because the bride is GORGEOUS! And it makes the photos look really weird. But like I said, public blog, private photos, and I don't have permission to circulate their likeness on the internet.
BUT you do get to see the clothes which are completely worth it. At my next wedding I'm going to dress like a Sinhalese bride. It's funny because it could happen.
 |
| Check out the details on that skirt! |
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| Bling bling bling |
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| The dancers that led the bride into the ceremony. I don't know these people so sure, you can see their faces. Whatever. |
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| The second outfits of the day |
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| More dancing! |
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| These awesomely dressed guys led the groom's procession |
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| Beautiful bridesmaid saris |
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| Ceremony |
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| More dancing! LOVE it! |
This is a place I would revisit. Well, the elephant orphanage and the beach, anyway. And maybe catch a wedding or two.
You are pretty funny! Loved this post. :)
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