Ok, yes, the idea of traveling that far all by myself doesn’t sound like one bit of fun. And the thought of staying for that long in a hot, dirty, crowded country that in no way resembles anything I’ve encountered anywhere else (and during monsoon season no less) is a little nerve-racking. And the knowledge that I’ll be living with in-laws that probably aren’t completely sure about me yet and that speak at least three languages that I don’t know is…
Wait, why am I doing this?
I kid. No, really, I’m joking. I swear. No matter how daunting it is when I focus on the nitty gritty details, I know exactly why I’m doing this.
I married an Indian. I knew going in that this would be a whole different ballgame than say, marrying a fellow North Carolinian. We’re a multi-cultural family. Except he is comfortable with and knows a lot about my culture, and I know…well, not so much about his. Sure, we talk about it. I’ve read a few books. But I’ve only been “immersed” in it for the three weeks. And during those three weeks, everyone we encountered went out of their way to speak English and make sure I was comfortable. Meanwhile, he has been living in the U.S. for 8 years, going to school and working and spending inordinate amounts of time with my family. It is only rarely now that he needs me to correct his pronunciation of a word or explain something to him.
So while we may be multi-cultural, we’re pretty badly unbalanced. I don’t want to be the American woman who marries someone from another culture, then proceeds to change him into an American and completely ignore his background. I love everything about him, and that includes where he’s from and everything that goes with it. If I want our children to grow up respecting that, than I need to too.
And so I have embarked on a two month journey to learn more about day-to-day life and how he grew up, to get to know his parents (and them me) in a way that a week or two every few years does not allow, and to hopefully begin to pick up bits of those languages they speak so I can communicate with all members of his family. It’s incredibly scary but will ultimately be probably the most rewarding thing I’ve ever done.
